I’ve written a post explaining why I left the DV safe house, but have yet to edit it. I hope to post it soon. It fills in a lot of gaps. I’ve been managing poorly in the self-care department, and my Internet presence has been limited as a result.
Unfortunately, the akathisia or whatever it is I’ve experienced recently has made a few comebacks since. Friday morning I was in a pool of my own tears after battling the symptoms all night. I was hysterical. I just wanted relief. I really just want to know what it is and possibly a way to make it not happen or at least stop once it does. Stress increases the likelihood of an episode which I can feel coming on. My neck gets stiff, I feel agitated, my muscles twitch… It’s not pleasant. In fact it becomes painful which only feeds the stress and agitation and panic. The medication I was orginally given still helps, but boy does it cause some seriously blurred vision! It also messes up my sleep pattern which is really inconvenient, but as long as it helps the worst of the symptoms, I won’t complain! I’m following up with a rheumatologist as soon as they can fit me in. I don’t agree with the theory of a Lupus flare, but I do want someone to figure it out. At its worst I told my dad I rather fall feet first into a woodchipper than experience this again. I’m also afraid it will come on suddenly when I’m out in public or completely alone.
In great news, my brain is still holding strong! I’m becoming less concerned that I’ll experience cognitive impairment like that again. I agree with my doctor who thought it could just be a virus passing through. That explanation fits. Having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, I can’t avoid wondering if the doctors are missing something right in front of them. At least this time I recovered and I’m fairly satisfied it won’t return.
Leaving this on a positive note, thanks again for all your comments! I’m really happy to have as many people as I do reading and so many of you give great advice, share your own experience or offer prayer and I couldn’t be more grateful.