As you’re likely aware, I am really struggling lately. I feel sad, depressed, frustrated and hope is really hard to hang on to. I’ve been trying not to put pressure on myself that may cause further anxiety, but I have pushed to focus on self care. I think it’s especially important when times are tough by either internal or external causes.
I showed you the start of my garage crafting table a few posts ago. I love to color, make gemstone and glass jewelry as well as smashbook/art journaling. Coloring has been especially nice when my brain is as fuzzy as it has been making reading nearly impossible. I haven’t been able to head out there to work because of my hip, but I’ve been coloring daily.
I’ve also felt even more isolated and even the idea of social interaction stirs up PTSD symptoms. I normally do enjoy the company of others, so I’ve decided to slowly ease back in. I met a really pleasant older couple at my surgeon’s office a few months back and Blanche and I spoke today. Her first question (other than “how are you?”) was “when are you coming over to visit us?”. How could I not make plans to do so? I was invited for lunch this Wednesday and although I’m sure this will cause anxiety on some level, I’m looking forward to it. They are both kind, interesting and upbeat and I could use some time surrounded by that.
My life seems and is boring. A lot of things I’d like to do are on hold simply due to my housing situation. I do have plans and goals I wish to achieve, but for now I need people and activities to keep me engaged and hopeful about the future. I can’t continue to feel empty and useless, because that’s when I start to wonder why I even bother.
The goals I have are closer than I know. I have to believe that. I need that to be true. I will not be stuck here much longer. This zebra will find her home!