With only the money from selling my stuff online to spare, I have been price comparing crafting items I can do mostly from bed! I did finally get a sewing machine for Chanukah/Christmas, but I could use a few lessons before getting into a big projects and I’m not quite well enough physically yet. I enjoy sewing by hand and doing embroidery.
I also have revived my love for rocks and minerals and their healing attributes as well as beauty. I took out some books from the library to try to identify some rough stones I’ve had passed down to me and bought some beads made out of those that could make some jewelry with positive vibes. I used do a lot of beading until I realized the expense involved! Now, one project at a time and Ive repurposed old high school jewelry of mine! I love to upcycle!
I’m currently trying to find some free sewing patterns online. My Build-a-Bears need some modest, classy outfits 😁. If anyone has free downloadable patterns or is willing to trade for other crafting supplies, that would be great! I’m not the most savvy at all when it comes to finding things like this online or pricing things.
In other news, I’ve completed my first round of Hyalgan injections and my knees feel good. Unfortunately, the neuropathy has been worse. I’m wondering if this is an option my shoulder? It would hurt like hell, but I’d try anything right now.
Therapy has been incredibly difficult and I’ve felt very edgy. The days in between have been filled with having to fight the nagging images and thoughts that have consumed my mind. I feel like I’m being tortured and I’d do anything to not feel or remember or be awake until I can exist without all of this weighing on me. Obviously, I haven’t been able to do much to beg for housing with both the physical issues acting up, but especially all that I’m trying to cope with psychologically. I truly don’t know how I manage to hang on. One moment I’m hanging in and the next, I’ve decided to leave this life of struggle, pain and isolation.