Last night, I took one scary, seemingly never-ending fall down the stairs. Thank G-d my injuries seem to only be fairly minor!
I like to shower before bed. Showering and drying my hair wears me out, so doing it at night helps me have more stamina the next day. I also like to go to bed feeling clean. I really sleep better that way. I went to take just such a shower before getting ready for bed when it happened. I grabbed a clean towel and was about to go downstairs to the only full bathroom in this house. My legs felt their normal weird way, I took one step downward and hit about half of the eleven remaining on the way down. I couldn’t stop it. I described it to a friend as feeling as if someone wrapped me up from head to toe or I was temporarily paralyzed, so I couldn’t break my fall. As it was happening all I could think was “why can’t I stop this? Why won’t my arms and legs stop me?” and then felt fear. What only lasted a couple of seconds felt like several minutes. At first, I couldn’t get myself up. My body still not responding to what my brain was telling it.
I have a hematoma on my butt that is like sitting on a hard, painful rock and my shoulders and right hip and arm took the brunt of it. When I woke today, my neck was very sore. That scares me enough to call my neurologist on Monday. Aside from that, I’m my own best nurse at the moment, so I’m in bed with ice packs and a lot of healing rest for the weekend.
I’m now so afraid of continuing to have to live here. I’ve been warned for years that even a much more minor fall could leave me permanently paralyzed because of my existing spinal deformity. That’s what scared me into using my rollator (walker) as prescribed. I should be making use of my wheelchair on a daily basis, but again, no one to push my manual chair and lack of accessible housing means my power chair collects dust here.
This house really is going to kill me. If only someone would do what’s right and help me get an accessible living situation. I’d do anything! I don’t want to die or end up even more severely disabled. Please help me. Please, if you’re reading this and have a voice that matters more than mine, I’m so desperate. Please speak up for me. If you can, please reblog, post this to your Facebook, Twitter or other social media. I really need help and I don’t know where to turn.