Take a hint!

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I’m starting to think I’m not as good as I once thought at detecting subtle hints. Let’s face it, most people are too cowardly to just tell you straight up “get lost!” I kinda need things spelled out for me at times. I tend to take things at face value and not wonder what lies beneath unless intuition pops up and makes me take notice or even over analyze. I don’t typically question motives of others unless they clearly give me reason to.
What am I getting at here? Well, I’m a little sensitive to whether or not my presence is welcome. Unless you make it clear to me that I’m wanted, I’ll assume I’m not and move on to the next thing, whether it be a party, a meeting or your life! I’m not one to show up unannounced nor will I ask to be included. I assume that if I’m needed, I will be told directly, no guessing game. I suppose not everyone operates this way, but I do. You have to me direct with me. You know what they say about those who assume, afterall.

Therapy is included in this. After not getting a daily check in for several days, I’m under the assumption we’re not working together at present. I don’t express my needs easily or openly, so yes, anyone who knows me at all should know I sometimes require a damn written invitation! With things left up in the air and no mention of sessions, I haven’t gone toΒ  either of my standing appointments this week. I’ve e-mailed, but with responses mentioning nothing of my appointments, I took that also to back up my assumption that it’s called off.

I feel abandoned. It wouldn’t be the first time I was. I realize she can’t read my mind, but she should know by now that this is how I operate and I simply don’t know any other way. What about asking if we’re on? I feel my e-mails sufficiently covered that and with things at a standstill as far as housing, health, etc, maybe therapy is just going in circles over and over and my frustration is shared. I’m certainly not going to go where I’m not wanted. It took me many years to start to understand that humans back away when they’ve had enough of one person or another and maybe I just wasn’t seeing that. Like I said, subtlety will not get across to me only possibly confuse me more.

Would you assume the same? Am I completely off-base?

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9 thoughts on “Take a hint!

  1. Honey, I’m not sure I understand this….are you saying you’ve missed two standing appointments with your therapist because he/she didn’t mention them in emails sent in response to your emails about specific issues? The daily check in thing….is that something they usually do, or something you normally instigate? Do you think it’s possible that if you haven’t mentioned a specific issue, your therapist might not realise there IS another issue there?

    What has my addled brain missed? My brain feels like it’s waddling through treacle today, so I’m sorry for not understanding here! X

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    • You pretty much followed my brain foggy writing! Impressive! We have daily phone check-ins on her recommendation, started in the beginning as a way to keep me out of the hospital, mostly. My home environment is very volatile and Ive been chronically suicidal going on years now. I e-mailed her (which is normal for us to do for cancelling, check-ins when she can’t be in touch by phone and such) because I had planned to leave and find a shelter that would take me until I got too sick for that to be an option, so stated I wouldn’t make it last Friday due to those plans. By Monday, I hadn’t heard anything so I didn’t go, but later e-mailed an update that my medical issues were resolving. no response and also no calls all week, so I assumed today was off as well. She typically will say something like “see you Friday morning” or “if you can’t make it Monday, don’t worry” or something related to our next appointment. With a lack of any such statement, I didn’t feel comfortable just showing up out of the blue. I hope that clarifies and makes sense! Thanks so much for reading through my thought process!!

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  2. πŸ™‚ Do you think something might be wrong at her end? Maybe she’s sick? Could you call her office? It doesn’t sound like she’s a flaky sort, and I’m sure she wouldn’t let you down through sheer lack of care…..sounds to me like she can’t contact you. Has anyone been in touch about your missed appointments? Does she even have a secretary/assistant you can check with? X

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    • That was my concern, but it would be out of character for her not to mention that. She handles all calls, appointments, etc herself. We’ve both recently had to cancel due to deaths, and that was done he E-mail in both cases. Hmm. Well, I hope all is OK, but odd that she’d make no mention at all. Her emails were especially brief…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I’d try phoning direct. She’s just another human, and it sounds like her plate’s been full, too…..no excuse for a professional, but poss a reason why contact a bit lax……even so, she sounds the type to be there for you if she could. Call her. X

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  3. With a therapist, especially one that is also her own secretary, following up with direct questions about the appointment seems appropriate. My kids therapists and I text about appointments. I have forgotten appointments, or gotten the dates mixed up. Now with friends, it may be a different story. The avoidance thing usually turns me away, unless it is a very dear and longstanding friend. Hope it works out!

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