Trying not to get my hopes up

Perhaps not every time, but the majority of times I’ve had my hopes high it didn’t work out or went horribly wrong. I make every effort to stay positive, but also realistic do as not to set myself up for a major disappointment.

I briefly mentioned this in my last post, but it has really sunk in now. Yesterday, before I could even call, the paralegal for the attorney I spoke with from NYLAG called to introduce herself and tell me she’d be researching my “case” in the weeks to come. To hear they are seriously involved and interested in helping is a big deal. I’m trying to take it day to day and not depend on these people having a solution, but praying that they can help in some significant way. I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to cope over the past several weeks. Aside from my body ending up places my mind was unaware of, that is!

I’m back to getting rid of possessions and packing certain items such as winter clothes with the intention of moving before the seasons change yet again. I’ve been fighting for this for nearly three years and the only way to keep myself motivated is to act as though finding accessible housing is imminent.

A place to live independently would mean decrease in trauma symptoms brought about from living with the people responsible for some of it, my joints, heart and spine having less stress put on them thus slowing my physical deterioration and having the assistance I qualify for working to help me possibly even regain more independence.

All I can do at this moment is pray, so that’s what I’ll do.


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