I’m feeling overall unwell. The pain still interferes so very much and I’m often nauseous and carsickness is major, so the appointment I can’t miss today should be 40 minutes (each way) of torture. I take Dramamine/Antivert and it still happens. The pain is just too much.

I spoke with my visiting nurse, Rosemarie this morning and got a lot of information. She’ll be coming sometime tomorrow, so that will be great. She seems very knowledgeable and she’s really nice. She also seemed surprised that I was admitted from the ER being that my internist was the one who insisted I go to the ER in the first place! She said my best bet really may be showing up at the ER again or calling 911! I have to think that through.

My mother said she spoke with some doctor who suggested I go to Cleveland Clinic. I love how these docs make these recommendations without really knowing how things work or consider the expense to me. My monthly income for 2015 us up to $511 and I’m pretty good at managing money, but there’s only so far that stretches, forget travel and other expenses. I wish a doctor somewhere would take interest in my case. Then I’d feel going into debt would be worthwhile, but I ultimately fear being turned away as hopeless yet again. Johns Hopkins kinda bailed on me and I’m only lucky it happened before I actually made the trip down to Baltimore and spent money I didn’t have.

I want just two things in this life: to have somewhere accessible to live and to find at least one doctor willing to learn about my disease and follow my case. I pray every day these things will come to be. I will do anything humanly possible to get what a need to survive with this disease.

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